In the spirit of Santa Claus and making LISTS and checking them twice, this VIDEO and WRITTEN BLOG talks about what DOESN’T go on your list. Happy Holidays!!!
I was at a pool at my complex on one random summer weekend, and went into the hot tub. Of course, instead of a supermodel coming and joining me, an older frumpy looking guy with lots of hair – everywhere – came and joined me. Even though it seemed my future wife wasn’t going to play footsies with me in the warm water, I was in a friendly mood and started a conversation with the guy.
He immediately went into a tirade about how bad everything is and how the world is headed into chaos. Like, the economy is going to crash and we’re all going to be dead – soon. I mean, the guys negative energy hit me like a wave. I tried to change the subject twice, and each time he got back on his doomsday horse.
I remembered that I made an intention to tell people what’s on my mind in a caring, uplifting way whenever I can, so I said “Hey man, it’s a beautiful day out, let’s talk about something positive, uplifting. You sound really unhappy.” He SNAPPED “I AM HAPPY. I make a lot of money, I am have 3 cars, I have two homes, blah blah blah. I am happy.”
At that point, I thought wow, what a great time to get out of the hot tub.
I have thought about that exchange a few times, and when I was re-reading Robert Holden’s book Success Intelligence, he talks about how competitive, driven people (like you and I) always make LISTS. We think that if we do A, B and C, THEN we’ll be happy. Though when we do A, B and C, we find that there is a D, E, F, so no happiness for us yet. Just more to do.
Happiness isn’t about LISTS. It’s not about DOING. It’s about BEING. When we coach people that come to us who are unhappy, we ALWAYS find that there are very easy choices they can choose to make to be happy NOW. Mainly these choices revolve around focusing on what’s good in your life RIGHT NOW.
When people ask what I do, I often say “I Help Successful People Become Happier.” The ones that snap back “well I’m happy” are always the ones that aren’t. See, it isn’t that you are happy or you aren’t. It’s how much are you choosing to connect to your happiness. No one is ever 100% happy or 0% happy. (see this blog post for more on that)
The ones that say “I am happy” are the ones that have that on a check list. They think to be successful, to be accepted, they must, at very least, put on the facade of being happy. Though they never are. Which is cool for us, because they make the best clients. Though only when they can admit they really aren’t as happy as say they are.
So think about that. What are you happy about? What GOODNESS do you have in your life, do you create? There. Think about that more often. It will pop you up on the Happiness Scale.
And the next time you see me in a hot tub, join me and let’s talk. About something happy. And hey, bonus points if you bring your supermodel friend.